I have been back at work for a whole month now and I gotta say it’s a little exhausting. I’m tired all the time, I’m not sleeping very well, and I feel like I hardly see Hannah anymore. Dare I say I’m a little jealous of my own hubby spending all day with her instead of me? I don’t want to promote resentment or any negativity for going back to work, but missing Hannah doesn’t feel too great. On a positive note our bank account is very grateful for all the hours since I’m considered part time and I could be only working 20 hours a week instead of 36-40.
My feet are holding up all right with all the standing. I’m seeing a chiropractor in the regular and she adjusts my feet, back and neck, and anything in between that’s tight or locked up. I recently acquired some custom orthotics to help with that, but right now they’re not helping my feet much at work. My work shoes are not appropriate for standing in for long periods of time. The rubber in the sole is too soft and puts too much pressure on my feet regardless of my orthotics. Add in a stress mat under that soft rubber and it’s a double whammy. At the end of the day I simply need better shoes. I know I should invest in good shoes, a pair that would work well with my orthotics, but I can’t find the courage to bite the bullet and make that investment. But, work aside, the orthotics are great! I pulled the insole of my TOMS shoes out altogether and my orthotics work pretty well in them. I love TOMS, but I think I need to find an every day shoe that’s a little more substantial than canvas.
Also the lack of sleep. Now, I will admit that I’m not very good at actually going to bed at a decent time. I want to milk time free of baby (because she’s in bed) and do things I can’t do otherwise such as read, catch up on blogs and TV, clean the kitchen, and shower. Ideally I’d be in bed by 9pm every night, but that only gives me an hour of free time in the evening. Regardless of WHEN I go to bed, I’m having a problem of waking in the middle of the night every night. Apparently it’s quite common due to a surge of stress hormones of cortisol and adrenaline, but right now I don’t know WHY. Is it really the stress of going back to work? I didn’t have this problem during my mat leave on Salt Spring Island. Have my hormones changed from having a baby? Is it my diet? Is it the city? It’s getting annoying. I had one night the other night where I didn’t wake up and I woke up feeling much more energized and refreshed. Sleep makes a huge difference.
All in all, I’m hanging in there, but honestly I’ve felt better. I want to get better, but I can tell my stress has sky rocketed since moving back to the city. I miss Salt Spring Island and I don’t. I don’t miss missing my friends, having no one to hang out with and nowhere to really go, but I do miss the quiet, the peace, and the beauty.